Jewel Scam

Lucky was waiting at the gate of the hotel. Gives us a what the hell happened to you guys and the conversation goes from there. Definitely something we both didnt want to deal with in our tired state. We say to we'll pay him but he doesnt want to let go that easy. Again bargaining with us, he says we should just go get some beers and forget about what happened. I guess the temptation of alcohol was enough to convince us of anything. We go to this dive bar on the corner of some street. A strange thing to see considering New Delhi, the capital of India, was on lock down after dark.

The catch comes after he tells us we had to come because he promised to introduce us to someone... well, not like we couldn't something like this coming. Shannon, didn't read the Lonely Planet article on what made Jaipur so notorious, gem scams. This guy, maybe mid-30's to early-40's tells us has a proposition for us. Like, any good scam artist he waits until we are a few beers in... but little does he know, we have Tim Shannon, a Houdini of beer. That doesnt even make sense. This guy says he is a business man, just needs some help getting around international laws, tariffs, whatever. Cut to the quick, he wants us to work his diamond showcase in NYC the following month. I shoot back some remarks to call his bullshit while Tim also makes some nice comments. This guy isn't going down so easily and suggests we go over the particulars on some nearby roof while drinking some more beer. Of course because it has a nice view. Yea, i think i saw this plot in a movie once... the unsuspecting tourists get ruffied, taken up to the roof, robbed, and thrown off the roof... little did they know im wearing the Japanese equivalent of Umbros... that means no pockets, no money. suckers.

Shannon, decides to go along with this... here, my head almost explodes. Im getting buzzed and i dont feel like drinking on a roof with some shady characters who are looking to scam us. I figure if there is two of us there, they might get extra tired tossing two bodies off a roof. We get in this guys dust covered car and we begin our descent into...

Sitting in the back, sipping some beers, we hear this guys plight. He talks about trust, drops some proverbs, and questions my trust because im giving him this cold stare. We pass through a neighborhood with bigger looking houses but they had the same WWIII looking surroundings. Then we passed through some shady ass slum. Hmm, things keep getting shittier. Where is this roof he was talking about? There weren't any tall buildings around. I guess this is were we start whispering to each other and talk about how weird this is getting. Maybe at that time, Shannon finally agreed that this situation was getting pretty outlandish.

Finally, the gem scammer says that he doesnt get a good vibe from me and that im not very trusting. Naturally, because im not trusting him entrusting us with diamonds he wants to call the deal off... the dustmobile makes it's way back to the bar and we part ways and Lucky takes us back towards our hotel.

There, Lucky, still be an ass like he didn't just try to scam us asks us for the ride payment. He gets burned... but i still think India wins that day.

What a long day

Response:
Courtesy of Lonely Planet - Jaipur:
WARNING - GEM SCAMS
A disturbingly large number of travellers countinue to get bedazzled by gem deals. These too-good-to-be-true con tricks might involve buying gems for resale at a supposedly huge profit, or getting paid by wealthy dealers to cart gems then suddenly coming up against "custom problems" that mean you have to shell out huge amounts, or some other cunning ploy. The con artists are invariably charming, often taking travellers to their homes and insisting on paying for meals. Mistaking a smooth operator for someone showing genuine Indian hospitality, the unsuspecting traveller begins to trust his or ger new-found friend. The proposed moneymaking scheme a few days laters seems too good to be true - and it is. If you by gems for resale, they are usually worth a fraction fo the price paid (or, if you agreed to have them sent, they never arrive, even if you see them posted in front of you). Hard-luck stories about an inability to obtain an export licence or having to pay huge taxes are not your problem. Testimonials from other happy gem-dealing punters are easy to fake. Don't let the promise of easy money cloud your judgment.

After convincing Hahn and I to just have a few drinks (if we knew the bar was going to be that far away and Lucky's friend was some 35-45 year old dude, we would have just called it a night), we get back into Lucky's whip and head to the bar, and as Hahn already said, we wound up cruising around in the back of a 5 series BMW in ghetto Jaipur. As the gem scammer drove, and spoke with us about how successful his jewelry store was in new york city, Hahn went from shifty to down right pissed in about 2 miles of dark and dusty Jaipur road. So in front of me is gem scammer, and to my right is Hahn, up and out of his seat, yelling at the gem scammer about "this is bullshit!" and "yeah, people offered us gems today, and this is a scam too!". And then there is me, sitting back laughing, wondering when the gem scammer is going to look over to Lucky, and give him the nod to get the handgun from the glove compartment. So now the gem scammer is getting pissed, saying "I trust you Tim, but not the other Tim, I'm just going to take you guys back to the bar" (but keeps driving around), and Hahn, getting super mad at this guy, and ready to jump into the front seat and start swinging for the moon. Classic India. We probably should have ended up with a hole in our chests and in a ditch till dawn.

Anyway, it was all worth it for the line of the trip. As we get back to the bar, we immediately get out of the car, and into the tuk tuk. The car felt oddly claustrophobic compared to riding around in a wide open tuk tuk since we arrived. Lucky exchanged some words with that slick fuck trying to sell us gems (as if we were really going to buy gems?...what an idiot, Hahn and I both look like a bunch of homeless bum hippies and he thinks we are going to drop thousands of dollars on rocks?...what the fuck do we care about gems...oooooohhhhh gems, soooo purty, lets buy lots and sell them back in 'Merica...whatever...what an asshole), and finally got into his tuk tuk and drives us back right outside our hotel, on the main road. Hahn immediately, and I mean immediately, gets out of the tuk tuk, and starts walking towards our hotel...here is the conversation from that point:

Lucky: So what are you doing?
Me: Going with him. (I point to Hahn)
Lucky: You're not going to hang out?
Me: No Lucky, I'm not going to hang out (I'm trying to slide out of the tuk tuk)
Lucky: You want some chai?
Me: No Lucky, I don't want any chai.

I get out of the tuk tuk, and walk to Hahn who's waiting for me 20 feet away. We turn our back and get three steps. Lucky gets out of his tuk tuk, with a bunch of other tukkers floating about sipping chai.

Lucky: Hey! Hey! You guys owe me for the entire day!

Hahn turns around as I watch his brain internally explode.

Hahn: Fuck you Lucky! We're not paying you shit!
Lucky: Why not! You guys owe me money!
Hahn: We're not fucking paying you!
Lucky: Why not!
Hahn (Pointing to his head while walking backwards): Think about it Lucky!! Fucking...Think...About it!!!

We turn our backs for the second time, as we start to turn the corner to the alley of our hotel, we hear Lucky for the last time:
I WAS JUST TRYING TO HELP YOU GUYS OUT!!!

Hahahah...help us out? Help us out!! Jesus christ. "Helping You Out"...It should be India's official slogan.

A Day in Jaipur

We woke up balls early after drinking a massive amount of chai at the hotel restaurant the night before... god, I miss chai... We had a 6 am train or something, and it left close to the actual departure time. An on time train was welcomed since we didn't have bunks like the other trains. We sat in a group of maybe 8 seats; 4 on each side with a chair in the middle. Sitting across from us were two German guys around our age. They had been in India for about a month (during their 3 month European vacation...) and we were wondering if they still had both of their kidneys. We had some good conversations with them for parts of the train ride.

As we arrived at Jaipur we concretely decided against any helper monkeys - tuk tuks. And did we decide against them. I think we left the station with a group of people who just kept following us while constantly pushing us to give into their demands. Did we use "cielo" here? I think this is where Shannon dropped the "cielo" bomb to the one Indian dude who got pissed... gave an evil eye, threw his hands up in the air with a "No! You cielo!" hahaha. Awesome.

We walked, got lost, met up with the Germans who were also lost, parted ways near our street, got lost again, walked and walked, argued, ate lunch, still being lost, gave up and got a new hotel. The hotel was a recommendation by a young guy on a motorcycle named, Lucky. Keep this name in mind, because this is a trip of ironies. After checking into the hotel we went out to search the town... specifically, I wanted to go to the place that had $2 tailored shirts. I finally found this damn place and then got the cold "your not Indian" shoulder... Oh, yea? it will take 2 weeks to cut a shirt... meanwhile your tailoring one for the guy who just walked in the door? bastards.

I found Tim outside getting some cigarettes. Our next tuker, Lucky, joins the story. He was trying to get hired for a while and we finally gave in when we struck a pretty good deal for the Amber Fort. The fort was about a 30 min ride through the town and the the hilly outskirts. Lucky, told us about his family life and how he is married, had an affair, got the other girl pregnant, abortion... just your everyday Joe. He also likes to smoke weed. A likeable guy.

We passed some elephants and camels along the way and then arrived at this massive fort up on a hill. Extremely huge. There were two forts actually... the older, higher than the newer one. Either another King wanted to show he could build another giant fort or he got sick of having to go so far up the mountain to get to the other one. We didn't feel like paying to see half of the fort so we tried to sneak by to no avail. Watch out for the grimy looking Americans. Definitely so, i didnt wash my pants the whole trip and only brought one pair. After being turned away by 3 different guards we walked up to the older fort. We took an out of the way path that followed the wall and after about 20 min of hiking it, we ended up at another... wall. Great path. We ended up getting an uninterrupted view of the lower fort which made up for the sudden stop in our hike.

Lucky, was down at the parking lot gambling in his down time. I guess he lost cuz he had to buy everyone there a small shot of chai. On the way back to town, his tuk-tuk broke down, and we changed automobiles. Next stop was downtown Jaipur.

Things start get fuzzy here; he wants us to have some beers with him and meet him back at the gate at 7... alright we say, but we might be a little late. This is our trip by the way and we are going to go on our own schedules. Needless to say, we meet some college kids, buy some bangles, roam the streets, and miss our 7 o'clock deadline. Lucky is nowhere to be found so we haggle some other tucker to drive us back to the hotel. Lucky had yet to paid so we thought it was weird that he wasn't there... and he basically refused our payment in the hopes that he would get some beers or something else...

Back at the hotel...
We get a call to our room...
the return of Lucky!

Response:
Right, Lucky, aptly named, was a skinny wank with teeth that looked like they were going to fall out of his head any second...he was cool at first, but as Hahn said, India always wins...we had a full day up until this point, and as we wondered the through the market section, which was extremely packed with people, and very dark and maze like (it was a god damn labyrinth sans the minotaur), we instantly knew we weren't going to meet Lucky on time, and just hoped he'd stick around for a bit past 7 (really, what else would he have to do?....no school, his only job all day was to tool us around, and hang out and get paid?)...Anyway, along our walkings we met up with some college bound guys who wanted to know all about what they would get paid in America with their tech degrees. They almost shit their pants when they realized we weren't kidding, you could literally see the dollar signs in eyes. So we meandered with them, went down some real strange alleys, including one with about 100 motorcycles lined up every which direction (a person could make a killing as a mechanic down there) and met up with another kid who sold us on a "the best bangle shop in all of Jaipur". And he might have been right. Those were some pretty cool bangles. Any way, after finding our way out, we finally made it back to where we first entered, and to no surprise, the Luckster was nowhere to be found. So we haggled the hell out of 5 tukkers, all pitting them against each other, which cracked them up (they are all just standing there waiting with nothing to do, and getting a ride this late at night is just a bonus...I'm assuming all the old guys anyway would rather stand outside and shoot the shit rather then go home to the wife and 13 kids). So some dude takes us home, and we get dropped off, and head inside. And sure as shit, Lucky tracks us down, and gets the head of the hotel to call us up and has us come down to pay Lucky. Haha...but the Lucky doesn't want money.