The Rug - Part 1

Next stop, the rug shop (not like we chose this shop or had a choice in the matter...). To us this was our first accomplishment in India. Of course, we had no intention of buying a rug but we were ushered into the adjacent room. We were given chai, continuously, and were being shown rugs by the guy from the money pit. He resembled the architect who kept saying '2 weeks'. Anyway, he was probably the most likeable and charismatic Indian guy that we met.

We were probably in there for an hour while he gave us detailed descriptions of the various types of rugs. Rug after Rug- silk, yak, big, small, thin, long - was shown to us. We narrowed it down and then inquired about the pricing, determined to come out on top. Silk 150, yak 355, 550, 750... the upper echelon was out of our range and the silk looked cheap. The 355 yak was decided on. But first, more chai.



coincidence? just so you aren't fooled... the guy on the right is from the money pit

Havemore

Our first taste of true Indian cuisine at Havemore. I'd say it was a mid-upscale restaurant situated in the slums of some random part of delhi. We parked outside this slum next to trash, sleeping bums, and a half-collapsed shanty village. Actually, quite interesting... there was this guy who looked like he was 100 years old sleeping a blue couch. The sage of the slums? who knows, but it was a surreal scene.

The food was pretty good, actually, very good. We had nan, chicken marsala curry, and some other things. We also had a delicacy known as "The Ganges Drink"... straight from the Ganges... I wish i remembered the name but it was basically a green, murky, chili drink with strange things floating in it. The smell was sulfur and chili... only the pictures can describe what words can't.

We were greeted by some street performing children as we left the restaurant. The boy played a drum while the girl did cartwheels and hand springs.



Just another day in india

Response:
I wanted to get a picture of that old man in the alley sleeping on probably the most worn down couch in the world, but decided to just nab a shot when we got back from eating...of course, he was gone...not sure why, its not like that bum had really anywhere to go? Anyway, that drink that hahn ordered in the restaurant, really did smell and look like the ganges...i didnt taste the ganges personally, but im sure the drink wasn't that far off...hahn only got a quarter of the way through it, and he handed it over to me...i only had a couple sips, and was promptly defeated...we invited our tuk tuk driver to dine with us, but he declined. He was too busy getting his handout for taking us to the restaurant. This is how all of india works. Tuk tuk drivers ask you, the traveler or tourist, 'have you ever been to india before?'...you should say yes, and then pull out a knife and tell the driver 'if you take us to any shops, ill shiv you in the back'...but of course we said 'no', and before you know it, the tuker is taking you to all the places he knows (possibly personally or through some contact) that will pay him to bring americans/britains/australians/whities to said shop or restaurant...so this happened the whole trip, regardless of whether we told the fucking guy to take us somewhere else...welcome to india...

tickets

We checked out of the hotel at about 10 and picked up a tuk-tuk and decided on 550 rupees for 5 hours. We had a train later that day to Varanasi... and he said we had to get our ticket confirmed. We protested to no avail and the next thing we are in front of a different tourist office. And they said that we dont have to confirm it... no shit.

This wouldn't be the last time...!?
ps - we should've taken elephants

Where's the shoehorn?

I awoke to Tim marveling at his giant turd that wouldn't flush down the toilet... he was still going on about properly disposing of it by mashing it down the drain. Strangely, the shower room had about 4 drains that look like potato mashers... evidence for his theory. He dreamed up this crazy plan for fear of having to deal with more Indian people. India had already defeated him.

Unlike Japan, there was no shoehorn to break apart the loch ness monster. After repeated flushes, some progress was made. And finally, it was defeated.

The victim can be seen in the background.
(Photo by Tim Hahn - Reuters)

Response:
Sadly it seems the diet in India is one that causes everyone's bowel movements to be one of liquid...since we did not encounter a single toilet in our travels (if there was a toilet at all and not just a hole with two foot pegs to help you squat over), that could take solid waste. So that first night in the hotel had a western style toilet with very little flow. Now granted, most of the places we stayed in were not 4 star hotels...or even 2 stars for that matter...but after 20+ hours of plane flights and layovers, with the airlines stuffing me with food to keep me from losing my mind during long plane flights...well...i had to poo...badly. So that night I did my business, and went to bed feeling defeated as who ever had to clean our room the next day was going to get an extra surprise...But anyway, we later learned that the drains in the floor was for the water to wash your hands after the fact, since a majority of Indian people don't use toilet paper...it didnt click right away since there was a sink, so why not just wash your hands there?...I guess they were trying to cover all their ethnic bases. Anyway, after letting the 'lochness monster' roam freely for the night (as hahn put it so eloquently), and soften up, it flushed down right away...so at least that morning started off well, and India, after starting off 2-0 against Tim & Tim (one for getting ripped off by the cabbi and the hotel, and one for rejecting our waste), was neutralized to just 1-0. Awesome.

(As far as speaking of shoe horns, if you don't know the whole story from Tokyo, it was pretty much the same situation as here, except i used a shoe horn to tame that monster and send it back to hell from whence it came...hahn that bastard wouldnt stop laughing, so i put a real smile on his face by poking him with the very same shoe horn, causing him to almost jump through the ceiling of the hotel...luckily for him im not a complete wanker, and made sure the shoe horn was clean before i went after him, although he did not know it at the time...needless to say his smile turned into a diatribe of profanities hurled in my direction...you think hahn would be used to disgusting things since japan is the land of crazy/bizarre/disgusting porn, and not to mention he dates a japanese chick...hahha, just kidding hiyo, youre cool...anyway, the look on his face was priceless, and now that i think about it, i should have never washed off that shoe horn. This remains one of my most favorite travel stories)

Dags

Whilst we were pissed, tired, and negotiating with the hotel guy(where's Samuel L. Jackson when you need him...) tim suggested we sleep outside... perfectly timed, some stray dogs passed, howled, and I dreamed of being mauled in my sleep...

your cheapest room, Mr. teabaggington

Response:
That is true. We knew we were getting totally ripped off by the hotel guy behind the desk. Everyone claimed 'the commonwealth games' or the 'who gives a shit games' made all the hotels booked, so all the prices were jacked up...which was total horseshit, just one more way India can rip off tourists...so after arguing the price of a single nights stay with this jackass, i turn to hahn and say, "lets just sleep outside", since there were plenty out of the way alleys in the area...and as soon as i got done with that last syllable, we hear what sounded like two packs of stray dogs going at it over god knows what in the alley beside the hotel. At that moment I thought hahn was going to hand over all his money to the hotel guy just to let us upstairs...talk about growing a set, sack up hahn!!!

Arrival in Delhi

Shannon had already landed a few minutes ahead of me; he was waiting for me outside of customs - hanging out by the perfume section. We talked about all the backpackers that were sleeping in the hall that connected to the immigration... and the fact that there were 2 soldiers with an AK-47 and another machine gun with a perforated barrel complete with side clip ready to mow these bums down.

The first thing you do when you arrive in a foreign country: exchange money and buy water. We met some guy who offered us a taxi. He got in the taxi with us and took us on a mind opening taxi ride.
Someone could write a book about how to survival guide on driving through India. Statistically, it has the highest amount of vehicular deaths in the world. I don't understand why they bothered to paint lines on the roads or even make licenses... the horn is the universal tool; used for turning, passing, and telling people to get the f outta the way. The driver was right when he said its just like a Playstation game.

Surprisingly, we didn't see any accidents as tuk-tuks (autorickshaws) and bikes weaved in and out of traffic. Though, we did see the remains of a car that went straight into a tree. As we got into the city, around 1 am., we saw people and stray dogs wondering around. A stray dog made desperate lunge for one of Shannon's arms dangling out of the window. Windows up and hands inside!

We requested to go to Parahganj, the backpackers paradise... but as we soon arrived it was obvious we weren't near that place. The lack of hotels and closed streets gave it away. Perhaps the most surprising part was that literally, everything was shut down. Road blockades, closed shops, nothing was open. The driver didn't stop as we went by multiple hotels and took us to an Indian tourism center. The driver waited as we consulted the tour guy.

This guy was a freakin scheister. According to him, the cheapest hotel we would find would be between 200-300 USD... pfft! After, telling him we just need something cheap he didnt budge. Its because of the goodwill games... yea, but they dont stay in cheap hotels. We tried explaining this to him. Next, he tried to arrange a travel package for a mere $1200 a person! dude, this is India - 1200 dollars here would buy us 500 goats. Then he lowered the price to 500... but we finally just got the shits of it and left to walk around and find a hotel.

However, we had to deal with the taxi driver... god damn, trying to screw us again. After going back and forth for about 10 min we got that monkey off our backs. He tried charging us per person and won. Now, to negotiate our hotel... which was situated right next to the travel agency (supposedly there were no hotels nearby). Overpaid for the hotel but had a place to lay our heads.

Traveling Lesson - Always negotiate your prices beforehand.

Airports

My flights took me from Fukuoka --> Taipei --> Bangkok --> New Delhi. About 23 hours total.

The flight to Taipei on China Airlines was awesome... it was only a 2 hr flight but came complete with a meal and free alcoholic beverages... China is definitely going to take over the world. The airport in Taipei was eerily deserted when I landed but filled up when I got towards the international flights. They have art exhibits scattered throughout the aiport. High tech furniture, flowers, wood carvings, murals, paintings... I really want to visit Taiwan sometime.

Bangkok, also another place I need to go. Next trip? I had a 4 hour layover and there was enough food and things to keep me busy. Dairy Queen, pizza, fruit smoothies... all the things one could miss in Japan. I exchanged some of my money to Bhat... which has their president on every denomination.

I also had my first experience with an Indian here... pushy bastard who cut in front of me while I was waiting in line... hilariously, the girl taking my order shut him down with a hand that chopped the air, bruce lee style... then she turned and took my order while the indian guy had a dumbfounded look on his face.

On the way to my gate, attendants at the airport said my flight was leaving... I rushed to the gate to find I had another hour to wait...

Traveling lesson - Always where a watch.

Response:
Later in the trip, after India mentally exhausting us down to a nub, Hahn and I completely forgot about a day...I think it was a Thursday. I figured Hahn would bring a watch, and in fine style, he believed I would bring one. I have since acquired a watch.