Delhi station

Your friendly Rupee loving driver :)








Well, we almost made it to the station when our driver stopped at another shop... it was easy to see how they get their commission now. We decided to humor ourselves by going in. Stepping in, we noticed about 10 guys in there mid-30s who definitely weren't shopping. ha, i guess they all worked there to help haggle foreigners. Seriously, these guys must have nothing else better to do. Upstairs, we saw an awkward japanese guy reel his hand away in disgust when the shop lady tried to touch him. Finally, we had enough and walked out the door while the one shopkeeper was still talking to us.

Outside, the driver looked surprised and was like 'you didn't find anything you like?' uhh, uhh, no. We just wanted to go to the station. Finally, he took us there and we started seeing the multitudes of people we had been expecting. He let us off at a side alley but not before demanding 2000 Rps! seriously... that's 4x the amount we agreed on outside the rug store. More arguing and then basically it was take it or leave it. And, another reason to want to choke Indian people.

Noticing we had some time before the train, we walked down the main street in front of the station which was half a bazaar and half people...everywhere. There were interesting shops displaying there wares on the street. Further along there was a circular setting with a large transformer. Not the robot kind. How could this be safe? there were literally people sitting next to it, shops with rugs hanging over it, and crap surrounding it. Hazards don't stop India.

We made our way back to the station and had to put our bags through a metal detector and a station worker wanted to see our tickets. I showed him our internet reservations and, of course, this wasn't the right one. But, in actuality no one knows anything about their own policies. At another tourist station we cut the guy off when he tried selling us the same as before.

We got another tuk-tuk to the rear of the station. And basically left the driver while he was still yelling at us for more money. We found ourselves waiting in lines for the metal detectors when one seemed to stop working. Some Indian people just took the initiative to walk through while the officers just shrugged and played with the detector. We just went with the flow and ended up in the station.

What was the point of those metal detectors/security officers?

Response:
This is all true. I'm not sure how many times we are going to write about indians trying to rip us off, but be prepared for about 100 more times, cause literally, at every f.u.c.k.i.n.g. step, there was some india hassling us for money, or after soliciting their services, trying to rip us off...I don't usually condone going to a foreign country and acting like a total asshole, but these guys were so relentless to fuck us over, hahn and i had no recourse but do as the romans do, and basically start not giving a god damn about the people or the country...its like the game who can shit on who first...sorry, that was a rant, but thinking about this trip is making my blood boil all over again...

here is a case in point...in about a 2 hour span, on a random tuesday or some shit:

1) last ride with this tuk tuk driver, we ask him to take us to the train station, and he takes us to a shop (where he gets a commission either by just dropping us and we go in, or perhaps a percentage off of whatever we buy)...whatever, he leaves to get gas, and we go inside since, well, its hot outside...we mull around, and the 20 guys working inside on the first floor shop look at us knowing we aren't going to buy a god damn thing...we head upstairs, where, as hahn puts it, a japanese dude flips his nut after an indian woman touches him...hahn speaks to him in japanese, and they have a laugh at the crazy woman's expense...at that point 3 other ladies basically grab us and try to con us into buying silk, where by we literally walk out of that shop and head to the 3rd floor...its full of instruments, and after wanking about there for a bit, we head down all the stairs and walk out of a side door cause i dont want to get fucking hassled by the 20 guys in the first floor shop again... so out on the street, our tuk tuk driver is baffled that we didn't get conned into buying something, and after much pleading, he finally drops us off right outside the train station...after agreeing on something like 500 rupees in the morning for him to drive us around for the day, he tries to hold us up for, exactly as hahn said, 2000 rupees...after he said it, he even put his head down in shame cause he new he was trying to rip us off...we talked and spent the whole day with this guy...he had a good time, we had a good time, we werent dicks about a single thing, answered all his questions he asked us, and went in all the stores he wanted us to...and still, he tries to bargain out of the deal we made earlier and straight bend us over, no lube style...
I let hahn handle him while I quick stole away to buy us water for the train, and hahn also owed me one for earlier having to buy a magic carpet I didn't really need...anyway we basically ended up just throwing him the 500 and telling him to fist it...

2) We have about an hour to burn before we need to board the train, so we head down what seems to be a main road with some shops...we get eyed up by the locals, and hollered at relentlessly to buy their plastic shit from china... we also see another pair of white hippies pass us in the opposite direction, and wonder if they are having the time of their lives like hahn and I are, and by time of their lives, I mean also have a sinking feeling in their gut they aren't going to get out of india alive...so we get as far as we want to go, and on the way back we get slightly separated as a beggar latches on to hahn, and i get some indian kid my age speaking to me in english, telling me he's a student, and basically giving me bunk information about the train and trying to get me to go to some tourist shop (where by directing tourists he of course gets a commission)

3) We get to the train station, but we can't get in, cause some security guard looks at are our printed out internet tickets and tells us those don't count, or work, or are legit, or whatever...and we can't get inside until we have a ticket (which would turn out to be 100% wrong, our tickets were fine, and there are hundreds of people in that station without tickets...and he's a fucking security guard)...so he takes us back to the street to his 'friend' tuk tuk driver (another commission) and tells us we have to go to the tourist bureau down the street...well now hahn and i start to panick, cause our train leaves in something like 25 minutes (we didn't know how the train system worked in india yet)...anyway, the tuker takes us to the bureau, where we talk to an 'official', an older gentleman who looks at our tickets and scolds us, not because there is nothing wrong with them, but because they aren't "1st class"... and tells us we will basically get robbed and killed if we go anything lower (later to be discovered to be...you guessed it...100% bullshit)... so yep, just like the rising sun, as hahn and i are trying to get the fuck back out to the street to get back to our train, the 'official' sits us back down and tries to sell us the 'golden triangle' tourist package (another commission)... we respectfully decline and tell him we are just going to wing it, and do our own thing, in which we are again scolded and told we whities are going to get robbed and killed if we don't follow his rules...peace out asshole, we have a train to catch

4) we literally run out to the street, and flag down another tukernugz to take us to the train... we set the price at something like 40 rupees for the short ride, but this time we get taken to the back of the train station, which is just as busy as the front...we roll out of the tuk tuk, where by he claims we agreed to something more like 400 rupees...you start thinking hahn and i must be lying about this shit, no people on earth as a whole are this shady and corrupt .... go there we say ... get ripped off for yourself ... anyway, with no time to spare, hahn and i literally throw the guy what we initially agreed on, and tell him to get fucked ... so what does the tukker do? ... he starts shouting and trying to cause a ruckus in front of like 1000 moving people, coming and going from the station...and what happens?...nothing, there is no law in india...not a single guard with a machine gun standing 50 feet away came to his defense....why you ask?...cause everyone sees a cab driver with 2 travelers and knows that he just tried to rip us off...I think it's this point in the trip I officially stopped caring about tuk tuk drivers...

So that's 4 times in 2 hours...and we were there for 10+ days...yeah, don't go to northern india...

Anyway, so at this point we are waiting in line to go through the metal detectors to get into the station, and hahn and i are sweating our balls off cause our train leaves in something like 90 seconds...and just like india, the fucking detector (looking like it was made in 1970), takes a giant shit, and people just start walking through...the guards...what do they do?...literally, and i mean literally, just put their hands up in a non-caring motion and watch everyone walk by...hilarious...so hahn and i skate through, get inside the station (which smells like a giant new york city troll bum took a giant new york city troll bum piss over every wall and in every corner of the place) ... and run up the stairs, over the platforms, and down to our train...only to be 1 hour early... we now learn that there isn't a single train in the history of that country that has ever run on time...and to add insult to injury, as we stand there, taking off our packs, leaning up against an old concrete wall, bathing in our own sweat, pissed as hell but elated that we didnt miss our train, we watch a 30 some year old guy hop down off the platform, right onto the middle of the train tracks, and take a giant piss all over the exact rails our train should arrive on............................. right in front of everyone ............. dong waving in the air, with about 500 indian travelers 10 feet away........................... and not a single man, woman or child could have cared less.....seriously, we couldn't make this shit up